Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 574
In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.
He was in the air most of the time. On the air, in the air, one way or the other. It was his thing and this was his airport.
I don't feel an obligation to give everyone a hard time, but when they're important people, it's fun.
If there’s anyone out there involved in illegal movie piracy... don't do it. Take a good look at these people. These are the people you're stealing from. Look at them! Face what you've done! There are women here who can barely afford enough gown to cover their breasts.
I do love America. And L. A. is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane.
Whoo! Heidi! Little goat girl, you are kicking the jam. You've got my lederhosen in a situation.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
I have spent my life paying attention to my art form, developing my art form, worrying about my show and what I'm bringing to people, making sure that I give them a fine trade.
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.
My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, "You need to meet other people."
The war in Iraq is still going on. The British are helping. Mexico wants to help, but they need a ride over there.
You might be a redneck if... the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, "Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it."