Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 619
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
There was one embarrassing moment for President Bush. When he heard there were forged documents that had been discovered he said: 'What? You mean they found my diploma from Yale?'
I never played a musical instrument growing up but I knew kids who did and took it very seriously.
Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.
For as one star another far exceeds, so souls in heaven are placed by their deeds.
Carrot Top will be doing a show about the history of ancient trunks. Gallagher will be smashing ancient fruit.
My dad’s a gun collector… He tells me all of them for protection. Then he told me one of them shoots 400 yards. I don’t know a lot about the laws of self defense, but you’re gonna need a good lawyer if you pick someone off a quarter mile away from you.
So I'm at the office, I tell this guy...Pass me the stapler, but when you pass it, make sure staples are in it, because if it isn't, I can't staple anythin'.
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.