Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 714
Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something’s not accurate?
Who are them blokes, the jockeys? Who are they, three foot high fucking hobbits in a pimps outift!
A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don’t think there will be a second date.
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
Peeps ask why the shades inside JB? I have a cool prescription thats why!
Newt Gingrich wants to repeal child labor laws. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the man that we need to lead us into the 18th century.
I can tell you, from experience, that whoever said "Children and fools cannot lie" was one or the other himself. There`s only one way to guarantee that your children are telling the truth: limit your questions to the names of their schools.
A person that is going to go out and get so drunk that you're going to get sick is just an<br /> all-time dumb person.
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
What's it going to take to get these people who refuse to believe that global warming exists to get in touch with reality? Where do they think exhaust goes - Bunnyland?