Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 741
At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore.
If you tell a kid not to run to a water slide, he/she will walk for 2 steps, then start running again.
Dean Martin’s pancreas, who overheard his liver singing "I got a right to sing the blues." Never got a dinner!
I'm trying to do things I have never done. Like I recently went to 3 different ballets. And I loved trying to learn how to like those a little bit.
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, "For God sakes, don't scratch it!" Never got a dinner!
Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away.
Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
I got a big kick out of that, actually. I think even when we were doing the concert ... everyone thought it was kind of cool that three busloads of people came from southwest Ohio.