Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 814

As an actor, there was that freedom of not having to worry about lights or marks or other people. It was just going out there and having fun with the character.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of the day when I'm alone and don't have to be performing.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

So I said, "Where do you want to go for your anniversary?" She said: "I want to go somewhere I've never been before." I said, "Try the kitchen."

Dear girl seductively sucking a lollipop in her pics. We get it. It's a cock. A yummy peen. Too nail on the head.

No one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you.

I’ll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

I once dated a guy who was so dumb he couldn't count to twenty-one unless he was naked.

I’m not trying to catch the right formula and do that every night. That’s not fun for me. It’s all about spontaneity.

A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation… But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You fucking queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’

A lot of the rap shows I saw as a kid were boring, but if you went to a Rage show or a Justice show, the kids were losing their minds.