Quotes & Jokes by Flight of the Conchords


2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven.

I'm not crying, its just been raining... on my face.

Let's get in a cab. I'll buy you a kebab. Now I can't believe I'm sharing a kebab with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. With a kebab.

There ain't no party like my nana's tea party.

My friend just told me he thought I was easily offended. I just can't believe he said that.

I'm the Hippopotamus, my lyrics are bottomless!

"You need to work on your people skills." "Shut up, Bret."

She's so hot. I wanna tell her she's hot, but she'll think I'm sexist. She's so hot, she's making me sexist... bitch.

Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

You know when I'm down to my socks it's time for business. That's why they're called business socks. It's business, it's business time.

Bret, you got it goin' on! "Got it goin' on!" Not in a gay way but in a hey-your-lookin'-ok-man!

Boogie, boogie, aw yeah, Robo-Boogie.

You’re so beautiful like a tree or a high class prostitute.

What man? Which man? Whose the man? When's a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? yes, technically I am.

They're turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers. But what's the real cost 'cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper. Why are we paying so much for sneakers when they're made by little slave kids? What are your overheads?