Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 820
God just seems very man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.
My life’s pretty easy, which is never good for comedy. I have a great relationship, a nice little house, a couple of dogs and cats and nice friends - there’s no jokes in that. I should fuck things up just for a business move.
Elizabeth Taylor, who recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way. Never got a dinner!
I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation… But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You fucking queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’
I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face!
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
Girls get more attached when they orgasm, so I make sure not to let that happen.
Smut, if it's really smut, there's nothing backing it up. It's the easy way out.
There was a lot of stuff where we were doing scenes and we would bust out laughing - more on this movie than ever, where you can't finish scenes. I hope we didn't mess up the movie.
The magazine at the health food store said, "Stop Aging!" Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging...