Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 832
I’ve never laughed a woman into bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
"I am not just another notch on your belt?" she asked him. "Of course not." he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, "Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer!" Never got a dinner!
Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele -- should be fun -- and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.
When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big
Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.
There was a lot of stuff where we were doing scenes and we would bust out laughing - more on this movie than ever, where you can't finish scenes. I hope we didn't mess up the movie.
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.