Quotes & Jokes about Questions / page 3

67 quotes

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

I have one question for the ladies: Do we look like this?

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!".

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer. So I don't respect our religions either. But I do believe it is a clash of civilizations, absolutely, between the Islamic world and the Western world. It has been going on for 1,000 years.

This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.

I have a lot of pot tendencies. I'm always late, I laugh for no reason, I watch "Jeopardy!" with the sound off and make up my own questions.

Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.

Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.

Little kids ask questions every second. She must have asked a thousand questions in one block, and finally, I panicked. She went, 'What are those clouds made of?' I'm an idiot anyway - I go, 'Steam from a hot dog.'

Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit rock bottom?"

It doesn't behoove us not to ask these questions. It makes us look like fools.

The question is, ‘how bad at sports were you as a kid?’ I grew up near where they film Jersey Shore. If you weren’t tan, muscular, and book-averse, you were a dork and a nerd and a geek and stuff. I remember being into Gary Larsen, Stephen Wright, Peter Sellers…