Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 602
Chapter One. He was as tough and romantic as the city he loved. Behind his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled sexual power of a jungle cat. Oh, I love this. New York was his town, and it always would be.
While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.
I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".
Do you know they have a pill to stop you from gambling? What are the odds?
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
Civil Rights: What black folks are given in the U.S. on the installment plan, as in civil-rights bills. Not to be confused with human rights, which are the dignity, stature, humanity, respect, and freedom belonging to all people by right of their birth.
There are a lot of reasons for that. For one, we have good light here.
Oh man, I get a lot of junk email. Isn't it annoying? Clutters everything up. I'm starting to sense a theme, though. Apparently, there's a lot of people out there that want to make my penis three inches longer.
I would say just in general, in life, I'm more willing to be animated as a person, and so obviously onstage as well.
I love that mentality, “Boo! You went to a different school than I did. I want everyone going to the same school. One school. 140 million students. Or I go ‘boo.’ I am the least tolerant human being on Earth. What’d you have for dinner tonight? Chinese food. I had Japanese. Boo. You like Triskets. I like Wheat Thins. Boo. You like regular Starburst fruits chews. I like the tropical. Boo.”