Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 637
NYU's like a Jurassic 5 concert: it's like there's supposed to be black people there, but they're not.
Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
I’m a big fan of talking dirty, but not everyone is good at it. I happen to be very good at it because I’m comfortable. I’ll say something sexy like, “You like that shit!”
My friends come and ask me "Is it worth it?" I say well shit it better be, I did this shit on purpose!
If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
The Smurf village was destroyed weeks ago and Bush has still not made an appearance. George Bush doesn't care about tiny blue people.
I know when the anthrax thing hit, white people y’all was very nervous. Y’all would come up to me at work and warn me, “Oh my God Aries, be careful. Don’t open the mail.” Black folks was never worried about anthrax. Because half the time we don’t open our mail no way. We might think that’s a bill… Y’all want to get us with anthrax, put that in a Jay-Z CD.
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.