Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 693
It's crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' It's a funeral, man!
Comedy is obviously a matter of personal taste and the world always needs a clown and some people have no taste at all and any clown will do.
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
God writes a lot of comedy ... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
When you're born, you have a finger up your nose, the other hand on your dick, and you get taller. And that is really it.
If conservatives get to call universal healthcare "socialized medicine", I get to call private, for-profit healthcare "soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain".
There was this billy goat at a movie studio who found and ate a can of film. When a nanny asked him how he liked it, he said, "It was all right but I liked the book better."
No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.
Private companies have a lot of capital. They can run things efficiently and get projects built.