Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 834
Oh, I can picture myself rattling along Route 66 on that thing, headphones on, singing along to ZZ Top's 'Sharp Dressed Man' or the opening line from 'Born to be Wild' by Steppenwolf - 'Get your motor running...' The trike brings out that in all of us, which is no bad thing. Forget Viagra, get yourself a trike!
I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.
Why in our lifetimes was there a programme called Dogs with Jobs? They used to put it on at 11.30am! I resented a programme called Dogs with Jobs being put on when they knew unemployed people would be watching.
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
ACORN is organizing to make sure the job of rebuilding New Orleans is done by the people of New Orleans and truly benefits the communities who have been hurt the most.
There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."
Jesus died for our sins. Dare we make his sacrifice meaningless by not committing them?
My first car was a 1977 Oldsmobile Delta 88. Ugly car. More ugly on this car than a Rolling Stones group photo.
Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card – "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."
It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.
No one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you.
Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That’s the new American dream.
Jack the Ripper’s mother, who said to Jack, "How come I never see you with the same girl twice? " Never got a dinner!