Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 834
Someone should come out with a man-woman dictionary, like those English-French ones.
I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go for a few days. I was there recently for seven days, seven days in Vegas. After I blew all my money on gambling and prostitution, I had six days to kill.
We've heard they've had signs up about Cuero for the last three weeks, ... We're excited about playing this game but not to the point where we do not know what we're doing. We just have to go into the game with intensity and remain focused on our goal.
A pair of ruby red slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz have been stolen. The thief is described as being armed and fabulous.
Why do some people think aquariums are cruel? The fish love it there! They told me. The said, “Truthfully Rich, it's fucking awesome. There's no predators. No nets, no pollution. It's like the ocean without all the bullshit.”
I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
I've gotten to a place where I am comfortable and I don't battle myself. I'm further ahead than I ever thought I'd be. I've exceeded everyone's expectations. Including, I think, my own.
It seemed like a funny thing to do! I thought we could maybe get on the ticket of the Libertarian Party. But people were either amused or horrified at the idea of me representing their party.
Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.