Quotes and Jokes by Paul Rodriguez

Paul Rodriguez, Sr. is a Mexican-American stand-up comedian and actor.

Top 15 Quotes (out of 11)


Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.


Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.


Latinos are black, white, brown, beige. What does that say about our ancestors? We'll sleep with anybody!


It is my belief that Latinos in show business have to be self sufficient and creative while aggressively attempting to penetrate post-mogul Hollywood. Self- starting is becoming the path to serious studio support.


Animals don't have anyone to protect them. If we don't stand up, the people who are harming animals will never get stopped.


What’s wrong about eating cows? What do you think god made them for? Their big, their stupid, their delicious. You want more reasons? I never met an animal more prepared to die than a cow. Next time you go to the farm look at a cow in the eyes, it is begging you for a bullet.


It's like a dream coming true. So when you actually accomplish it, you almost don't know how to react. You imagined you'd run up and down the street screaming, but you're just stunned instead. Like, 'Is this real?'


Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.


Maybe he's my good luck charm.


Those are adult magazines. Anybody can own them. It doesn't prove the charge.


Everybody really needs to laugh... If you don't laugh, you're not going to live long.