Quotes & Jokes about Sisters / page 3

41 quotes

I know how to get sisters. I got 30 years practicing that. All you got to do is go to the club and say, 'I got that rent money.'

I am an only child. I have one sister.

I do want children. I study dads more. I watch what they go through. I admire my father more than I ever did and my brother and my sister.

I'm screwed. My girlfriend just found my massive porno collection. DVDs, magazines and hard drives. All over at her sister's place.

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.

My sister would've liked to have been a comic. She had an act that she would do for me sometimes. But of course, she didn't become a standup comedian because she's kind of a big talker. Doesn't do a whole lot of the things she says she will. Like go to the moon. The truth is if she had done it, she would be so fucking famous right now. Her act was simply a stream of obscenities and giggling. Can you imagine? A retarded chick just standing on stage swearing and giggling?

My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She’ll be in front of everyone with her um… breast… out feeding it. You know… cereal or whatever.

Most of my family were nuts. My mother gave my sister's dolls polio shots.

My friend has been enjoying the craziest sex life since he got a divorce from his sister.

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.

Sisters ruin everything. It's in their job description.