Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Navy

Top 15 Most Popular Quotes (out of 6)

#1

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

435
#2

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

37
#3

They only seem to be talking to themselves. What if they're not? What if they're actually synchronized? What if for every guy walking by himself going, 'Nobody tells a navy man when he's had enough to drink 'cause only a navy man knows when he's had enough to drink,' maybe there's another guy, 30 miles away, walking by himself going, 'Shut up! You weren't in the navy. Kiss my butt. I don't need this.'

15
#4

Another thing when I'm president? If you're in the army, the navy, any branch of the armed forces... you can fuck whoever you want!

5
#5

Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with no experience running a Navy sub. Hey, how about an investigation into whether it's appropriate to have a civilian with no experience running the country?

2
#6

Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.

2