Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 522
The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.
Alexander Graham Bell’s wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, "Your three minutes are up." Never got a dinner!
Then you have these people in the movie theaters that talk the whole time during the movie. You ever go with somebody like that to a movie but you don't realize until you get there that you're with somebody like that? Brand new movie. First day it's open. You're there together and the entire time they're sitting there: "Where's she going? Why'd he do that? Is he mad at her?" "I don't know, let's watch and find out together shall we?" You know who you are. You're denying it right now: "I do not do that. Why is she saying that?. What's she gonna say next?"
It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.
Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place - they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.
Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
I was worried if I got my driver’s license I’d start winning all the NASCAR races.
If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then I got home...
I am always hoping to do another CD. This atmosphere has been difficult.
Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people do too. Oh, we made the cover. But any press is good press. Right ? As long as they spell your name right. So now the whole world is gonna read about... Tatus High Performance. Tatus. Great.