Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 230
If I don’t die in a plane crash or something, this country has a rare opportunity to watch a great talent grow.
I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.
There is a chalk outline being drawn around common sense, and most people cannot even identify the victim.
The musical number for Crash was one of the most depressing things I've ever seen. And not because it was about racism, but because it was horrible... and about racism.
No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!
Old peoples' skin sags because it's being pulled toward the underworld.
I've always wanted to uppercut a punkass and send him flying onto a table, preferably with a cake or a bowl of punch on it.
That's not a stereotype - French people reek. French people don't wash their ass. We wash our ass in this country. That should be our logo: 'The United States of America: We wash our ass.'
A black President? Now come on y'all, we got Clinton, that's close. He got negro tendencies.
My Obama is getting pretty good ... I think I'll vote for whoever makes my portrayal easier. It takes time to put together a comic impression. It takes time to recognize the tics. Right now, for instance, I could do a dead- on Paul Ryan and people wouldn't recognize it. Personalities take a while to sin...
The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
I'm getting a hair cut this weekend and I'm gonna tell the guy straight up, "No fuckin' around make my hair shorter than when I came in!"