Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Tennis

Top 15 Most Popular Quotes (out of 7)

#1

Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.

42
#2

I killed a squirrel once with a car. Twice with a tennis racket.

9
#3

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.

8
#4

I’m actually pretty good at tennis. Well, if I’m in the Special Olympics or something.

4
#5

I had to buy a new printer the other day. The printer I wanted was like $200, but for some reason, I figured out that if I bought a printer/copier/scanner/faxer/coffee maker/clay oven/tennis racquet restringer, it's like $8.95. And I had to ask myself: why would it be that by paying less, I get more? How is it that the less I pay, the more I get? And I've figured out there's only one logical answer - the giant, multinational, megacorporations really just want me to be happy. That's the only possible answer.

4
#6

You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better.

4
#7

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head.

3