Quotes & Jokes about Florida / page 2


President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida.

Since the bus, a lot of people go to Florida who wouldn't if they had to hire a driver.

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.

My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

Today the Republicans are getting ready for the convention. They're busy down there in Florida auditioning minorities.

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it’s income from a giant mouse.

Isn't this a wonderful country? I was in Florida. I'm staying at a motel called the Three Palms. It's run by a middle-aged couple, one of whom is missing a hand. OK! That's what I thought, too! But they got upset when I asked.