Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Michael Jackson

Top 15 Quotes (out of 11)

#1

Poor Michael Jackson and these sex allegations. As if it’s not bad enough him being a Jehova’s Witness, they’re accusing him of behaving like a catholic priest!

112
#2

Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home type, while Michael Jackson is more of a homosexual pedophile.

100
#3

Michael Jackson is what happens when you keep fixin' it until it's broke!

19
#4

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?

7
#5

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

7
#6

Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

5
#7

I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'

5
#8

More details coming out about Michael Jackson. It seems his 13-year-old accuser testified before a grand jury that Michael had seven locks on his bedroom door. See, what happened was whenever Michael would install one lock, the kid would grow an inch taller, and he’d have to put in another one, and then another one, and then another one.

4
#9

If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.

4
#10

Easiest job you could ever have… whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create "reasonable doubt."

3
#11

I have to say something about people, even when it's somebody like Michael Jackson. I have to say something about a little dude who runs around the country wearing one glove and singing "Beat It!"

3