Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1079
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
The Catholic Church is still very angry about "The Da Vinci Code" - they don't like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.
She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.
I called them and told them we were coming and said I didn't know how many we were bringing. They said bring them all. They said even if they had to get cots and line them all up, they would accommodate us. It's been great.
Bush didn't really win on his popularity last time. He won on scaring people that Kerry might do something stupid like, I don't know, sell the ports to the Arabs.
People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don't want to have children.
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people who want to vote for Bush but don't think Bush is Jewish enough.