Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1079
I visit Fox News every now and again, and it’s nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.'
Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that’s stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
To a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
I’ve always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
I don't know about condoms for everyone in porn. But there is a strong case for goggles.
I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.
I live in Los Angeles, I know it exists. I know you're not supposed to taste air.
Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.
