Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1079
Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.
So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.
Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.
I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!
Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'
Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
MTV needs to go back to showing hot teens... before they were pregnant.
My dad was like a stage mother he always pushed me to do what I wanted.
