Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1079
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there was some girl I saw walking up Holloway Road in Islington who had this long languid walk and I thought, that's what I like, so I incorporated her walk into mine.
Passover is a ritual dinner where we talk about the story of the exodus of the Jews out of Egypt. And we have a service and a meal. Then there’s the sacrifice of a live Christian baby and dessert. My family doesn’t do that, but orthodox…
I understand dildos: not everybody has fifteen inches of dick to swing around to scare the children.
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
