Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1079
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
But there was something really serendipitous that was happening, with some kind of energy that things would ultimately just work out, sometimes better than when you plan.
We go out of our way to make people so different,... to punish them because of color, because of sex, because of size, and the game starts.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now.
I thought for like five years that when you have sex, you come and one of your balls comes out. That's what I thought happened, that you have to come a ball out of that little whole at the tip of your dick. I was terrified! That's what I thought, you just... Bahh! And you push a ball out and she's screaming and there's blood everywhere...and you can only do it twice and then you're out of balls. That's what I thought. You come and have two babies, and then you just walk around with an empty sack for the rest of your life. Which turned out to be true...
If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.
So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.
Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.