Quotes & Jokes about Drugs / page 2

57 quotes

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

I did drugs wrong. I’m the only guy who ever got fat on cocaine. I went to rehab for coke, and a black guy came up to me and said, "Damn, man, what are you pouring that shit on, cheeseburgers?"

Every time you hear about some famous guy overdosing on drugs, it's always some really talented guy. It's always like Len Bias, or Janis Joplin, or Jimi Hendrix, or John Belushi. You know what I mean? The people you wanna have overdose on drugs never would! Like Motley Crue would never fucking overdose man, never!

If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.

I don’t do drugs, though. Just weed.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

If you have a good product. You don't need to advertise. You've done drugs? Did you ever see them advertised?

Not all drugs are good, all right? Some of them... are great. Just gotta know your way around them, is all.

Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was twelve! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow - together! And I hadn't done drugs.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke... tumors.

I don’t get the point of drug commercials. Like the thing with the frying pan and the egg. “This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?” Yeah, do I get bacon with this?