Quotes & Jokes about Swimming / page 2


A lot of the Olympic games just boil down to genetics. Michael Phelps is genetically built to swim better than other people if he trains the same way. You might as well have a competition for who’s the tallest, and act like it’s anyone’s game!

But I like to swim. At high school, I tried out for the swim team. I shaved off all my body hair, and that extra burst of speed from all the bullies shouting "Kill the fairy"...

Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?

I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

I didn't flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it.

There’s a huge hole in the whole Flood drama, because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free, and it was the idea to wipe out everything, He didn’t say, “I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.”

I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.

She says, "Dad, do you know how hard it is for my boyfriend to put a condom on while we're in the swimming pool?" And my dead grandmother appeared in front of me and said, "Bob, we'll see you in about two minutes."

With my old man I got no respect. When he told me I should start at the bottom. He was teaching me how to swim.