Quotes & Jokes about Experience

26 quotes

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I had the weirdest experience. I'm walking here and I say to myself "my gosh, that's Jimmy Petersen. I haven't seen him since I was nine". And I walked up to him and I slapped him on the back and I said "how's it going, you old rascal?" And he starts crying... And I say to myself, "wait a second, if that's Jimmy Petersen, he would have grown up too!" I mean, sure, now it's obvious...

You will never experience less reality than when you are watching a reality show. You're watching people who aren't actors, put into situations created by people who aren't writers and they're second guessing how they think you would like to see them behave if this were a real situation, which it's not. And you are passively observing this; watching an amateur production of nothing. It's like a photo of a drawing of a hologram.

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers? Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!

Life experience is the best teacher.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

Ideally, you want to be in a fifty-fifty power-sharing arrangement with the audience – both of you are there for a mutually enjoyable experience.

I needed time to stand back and go through a lot more experience in life. Then I have something to write about, joke or to animate.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience.

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it’s right for you.

It’s been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is truly a loyal friend, then they wouldn't need to broadcast it; eventually, people will figure it out. I have a lot of good friends and not one of them has ever introduced themselves by saying, "I'm a very good friend."

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

We were a very small circle of writers. Everybody brought to the table their own life experience.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.