Quotes & Jokes about Birthday / page 2


I don’t know, maybe it’ll change as I get older, but I have always enjoyed my birthday and the liberty it allows me. No matter what I do, I can say, “Well, it’s my birthday. It’s my birthday.” It’s sort of like diplomatic immunity with my family.

I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes.

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

There's nothing more awkward than going to the first birthday party of a little girl when you told her mom to get rid of her - because the kid can tell.

I got 11 vibrators for my birthday this year. Do my girlfriends think I'm at home double teaming myself?

For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.

When I was a kid at my birthday parties my mom would say, "make a death-wish and blow out the candles."

In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

A few days ago, it was my birthday, and it was in the newspaper, and growing up I never would have guessed that a) my name would be in the newspaper, and b) that I might outlast those papers.

If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!"

Last year I gave my girlfriend eyeglasses for her birthday. This year I got her Lasik surgery. Because she didn't need the glasses.

I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I'm saying...

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

I got a book for my birthday "How to make it big" I had to take it back.

What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.