Quotes & Jokes about Death


I don't wanna die tomorrow knowing that I could have had a piece of chocolate cake tonight.

Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. Buy my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.

Our job is improving the quality of life not just delaying death.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.

So then, what do you believe in? Sex and death. Two things that come once in my lifetime. But at least after death you're not nauseous.

Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.