Quotes & Jokes about Mexicans / page 2

42 quotes

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.

I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and salsa. Like I was gonna let that guy get away - I don't think so.

We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club... I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat - these ladies are all business - she goes, 'Go ahead, take out your dong.' 'I'm not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word "dong"? If you want to be hip to the lingo, they're not using the word "dong" up in the States.'

Mitt Romney wants the Latino vote. He ain't going to get it. He ain't going to get it. And you know why? Because Mitt Romney is a fucking Latino and he won't admit it. His father was born in Chihuahua, Mexico. Mitt Romney is a Chicano. But he won’t admit it. “I am not. I am Danish. I am French.”

In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto Rican. And I come to Canada and I find out I'm an Eskimo.

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

What's happening is there's a warm front of Mexicans that are humping their way north to the point where you'll be up in Canada one of these years, walking around, you'll be like: 'Hey look, Eskimos! They came down.' Those aren't Eskimos - they're Meximos: Mexicans in parkas, trying to have sex with Canadian women.

The stupidest thing is to assume Latinos are all from Mexico. “What part of Mexico are your ancestors from?” Los Angeles, bitch!

I was in Mexico, and I see how these people operate. They're not stupid. Did you know that in Cabo San Lucas, there is actually a Home Depot? I swear to God. Then I went inside the Home Depot, but there was nothing inside, completely empty. It was just a fa ade. And then I looked outside, and there were Mexicans standing out front - but there was nothing inside, but they were outside. And then I realized: it's a training facility!

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you’ll always lose because of the Mexicans.

Mexico sent 39 trucks filled with Mexican soldiers to help out the cause. Now, first of all, they said it was 39 trucks and 180 soldiers. I'm a beaner, and I'm telling you white people, that's a bullshit number right off the bat! There's at least a thousand beaners there right now!

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

During the riots, blacks and Mexicans showed how smart we are. They told us where to go steal shit. We ran to K-Mart, loaded up with shit. Walked out the door. And then we did interviews with evidence in our hands. I'm watching the news going, "Fuck Armando! Put the radio down!"

My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.