Quotes & Jokes about Obama
The only black part about Barack Obama is that that nigga don’t know his dad!
Obama had all the right ingredients that came together at the right time. He’s tall, good-looking, articulate, highly intelligent, smooth under pressure, charismatic. And most importantly, the right shade. He made white people feel comfortable. Because y’all know if that nigga was Bernie Mac black or precious purple, he wouldn’t have won. He’s like coffee with cream, it goes down easy.
It's kind of redundant - have a black dude wearing an Obama shirt. Everybody's like, 'Yeah, we know. You like Obama; we get it.' It's just like, I would do the same thing. I realize that it's kind of redundant. I don't go up to white people wearing Coldplay shirts. 'You like Coldplay? For how long? Forever?'
When he was coming up, people were like, 'We have a serious black candidate for president. This is crazy. We have a serious black candidate.' And then when he won, they were like, 'Our first multi-racial president.' And I was like, 'That's not fair.' I mean, let's set the record straight. If you went outside tonight after this show and Barack Obama was stealing your car, you wouldn't yell, 'Hey, someone stop that mixed guy!'
If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it’s kind of like saying 'This guy can’t cure cancer. I’m gonna vote for cancer.'
When Obama ran, he said, "We can change the world!" The world: can you change it back?!
After President Obama, President Rodriguez... What’s the worse that can happen? The border problem gets solved and the White House lawn looks better?
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.
Sarah Palin, part-time Governor of Alaska, is angry because Michele Obama is encouraging kids to eat healthy. Sarah Palin believes the government shouldn't tell us what to do. Sarah Palin believes she should tell us what to do.
If you got a name like Barack Obama, you're supposed to fight.
But there are some nice aspects during the transition period. For example, the Bush twins gave the Obama girls a tour of the White House. It was very sweet, but the Obama girls got really scared because they heard creepy organ music coming from Cheney's underground lair.
Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?
The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.
My Obama is getting pretty good ... I think I'll vote for whoever makes my portrayal easier. It takes time to put together a comic impression. It takes time to recognize the tics. Right now, for instance, I could do a dead- on Paul Ryan and people wouldn't recognize it. Personalities take a while to sin...
We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.