Quotes & Jokes about Age / page 2

46 quotes

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

I'm going to be fifty this year. Soon I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.

Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.

Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, How many more years do I have on this earth? But I can't really conceive of dying. Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is.

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?'

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.

Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

To me, the most important thing in this age is just to let people be.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.