Quotes & Jokes about Truth

34 quotes

Let me tell you the truth. The truth is what is, and what should be is a fantasy. A terrible, terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago.

Why ruin a good story with the truth?

A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

I can't wait to be arrested and go all the way to the witness stand. "Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you, God?" "Yes, you're ugly. See that women in the jury? I'd really like to sleep with her. Should I keep going or are you going to ask me questions?"

Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an ''act'' and he told the audience, ''This is my act.'' Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth.

The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, "You offended me" then you say "I don’t care!" If they’re offended by the truth, that’s their issue!

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.

If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.

I say, when you tell the truth, you never offend nobody, particularly if you do it with dignity.

The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it.

I prefer to believe that people are good and honest and respect me enough to tell me the truth. It's not easy to find those people all the time, but they're out there.