Quotes & Jokes about Babies / page 2


When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

They're not the sharpest people - babies. So, you must be everything to them.

My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She’ll be in front of everyone with her um… breast… out feeding it. You know… cereal or whatever.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

People don't let politicians kiss your babies. Those lips have been on lobbyist asses for years now.

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Babies awaken slightly disoriented, with a look that's half Angel and half Lost Tourist.

My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.

Babies: they're not just for Puerto Ricans anymore.

Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.

I know pushing out babies is hard. But on September 11, I panicked and tried to push one back.

Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.

Writing jokes for others is like having babies for someone else. It’s sad. Like the woman who gives up her baby but needs to be close so she secretly becomes the maid in the household.