Quotes & Jokes about Basketball

15 quotes

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he’s a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It’s remarkable.

In the original script, my character was a basketball player rather than a boxer. I didn’t think I could pull that off. I’m a little short to be a basketball player!

You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think?

I can’t keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian’s husband and his friends.

I love the Spurs and their white guy basketball that they play. I absolutely love their fundamentally sound pick and roll, fucking kiss it off the glass, ‘I can’t jump either’ game that they play, it’s tremendous. There’s not a lotta white guys out there doing it, but when I watch the Spurs play, it looks like 5 white guys playing pick-up at the Y.

You can’t be comfortable in whatever that societal group is – kindergarten, school, basketball, whatever. You have to have an outsider point of view.

"Losing builds character." You know who said that? A loser! Guy who got his ass stomped every day, basketball, football, baseball, lose, lose, lose and lose. All right, I'm talking about me.

You started rapping when you wasn’t good at basketball. I started rapping because I needed Adderall.

If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.

When did they start designing toothbrushes to look like basketball sneakers? Can I just brush my teeth and not be "extreme"?

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney's door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade. If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.