Quotes & Jokes about Sex / page 3

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

Sex couldn't be simpler. I think there's only like five things you can do in the whole fucking thing. You ever think you invented a sixth? Then later you go, 'Ah, in all humility, I guess that was pretty close to number five.'

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.

I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.

Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, "Adam - uh, don't kiss guys."

Sex when you’re married is like going to a 7-Eleven. There’s not as much variety, but at three in the morning, it’s always there.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

I have a twelve year old sex doll. Brand new.