Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Stuff

Top 15 Quotes (out of 17)

#1

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

331
#2

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.

34
#3

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: it attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.

10
#4

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

6
#5

I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.

4
#6

The moments of comedy are there. But the whole idea of a vacation is the stripping away of stuff and then, by the end of the vacation, at least in my life, you do have these moments as a group, as a family having a great time, so mellow again. It takes a while to do that but that's what this movie is about.

4
#7

Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

3
#8

When I look back on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn't try to stop me. Just a friendly warning, "You may regret this," would have been fine.

3
#9

I would not have had anything to eat if it weren't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

3
#10

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

2
#11

Some of my stuff, I realize is just rage.

2
#12

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

2
#13

Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?

1
#14

I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

1
#15

I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.

0