Stand-Up Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Success

55 quotes

It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

I don't consider success doing a show for 30 years; I'm sorry. To me, you're successful when you graduate from something. I did a series, I did a talk show, I did movies, I replaced Mickey Rooney on Broadway in "Sugar Babies." You understand?

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, "When I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars. I want to have groupies." But my idea of success is different today. For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and not to give into peer pressure, to try to be something that you're not. To live your life as an honest and compassionate person. To contribute in some way.

Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.

You get to a philosophy after a while that everything is sort of cycling in a way. You know I have a sort of capsulized philosophy that your success is so relative. When you’re a baby success is not wetting your bed. When you’re a teenager success is going all the way. When you’re a young man success is making money. When you are middle aged success is being happy. When you’re an old man success is going all the way. And when you’re really old it’s not wetting your bed.

For me, the greatest hurdle to success has always been failure.

Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.