Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 4

136 quotes

Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, "I could never love anyone who ate a diaper."

Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

That's why dogs are man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men.

The only thing better than the world’s cutest cat is any dog.

6th grade. My dog, Katie, is hit by a car and killed. A mean girl during recess says it committed suicide because it didn't love me. I cry and swear revenge on mankind.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?

Rescuing dogs is looked upon as a noble, trendy pursuit. But wouldn't rescuing a man from a homeless shelter be, in fact, more humane?

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

My dog learned how to beg by watching me through the bedroom door.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It's like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage "If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours." I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex boyfriend. That's just a chance you have to take.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love - the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!

My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.