Quotes & Jokes about Homeless / page 2


I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.'

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

You ever pull out money too big in front of a homeless dude? You're like, 'Let me give you some - oh, shit.' He like, 'Give me that $100.' 'No, here's some pennies.'

Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something that I have a real problem with: homeless people with pets who approach you for food when they have a perfectly delicious dog standing right there?

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

I spent all night feeding the homeless to dogs.

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless. When black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

Two weeks ago in Los Angeles, at a stop sign, I was asked for a dollar by a homeless 22-year-old Vietnam veteran. I was like, 'Here's a buck. Yeah, I know man, Da Nang was whack.'

You know what hilarious means? Hilarious means so funny that you almost went insane when you heard that shi... its so funny that is almost ruined your life. You're homeless now because you can't cope or reason anymore. Because that hilarious thing just shattered your mind and three months later you got shit and leaves in your hair and you're drenched in pee in the gutter. That's how funny hilarious is.

People who are homeless, they're not all addicts. A lot of times, they're just people who, through something like losing their job or losing someone in their life, ended up on the streets. So much of our time is spent in cars that sometimes you need to look out of those windows. And you see that a dollar, 50 cents, whatever you have, may not mean much to you, but it means everything to people who are hungry and who are in need.

These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.