I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Prostitutes
Top 15 Quotes (out of 14)
I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they’re scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: "You can’t just go out and sell it for what it’s worth, we’re holding out for so much more!"
If God had intended women to prostitute themselves, he would have given them a free will and a vagina.
She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.
An 83-year-old male prostitute was arrested. Police say he only charged $20 an hour, but for most of that time, he just talked about his grandkids.
If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
Colin Farrel was recently asked about prostitutes and he said, "It's like ordering a pizza." Really? What restaurant is he going to? All I ever get is a pizza... I guess in some ways it is - when it’s delivered, it's never quite as hot as you hoped it would be.
The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman’s rate.
If I fell asleep right after sex, the prostitute might take some of my shit.
"If you got it, flaunt it" may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?