Quotes & Jokes about People / page 2

47 quotes

What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.

It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it’s because they’re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, "What's wrong?" Nothing. "Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile." Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

Most of the time I live with my pain. I have pain but I won't show it around. I think that's the nobility of the character. There's something noble in not spewing on people all the time about your problems. I'm the light guy, so I identified.

Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.