Quotes & Jokes about People / page 2

47 quotes

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.

What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.

It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

More people write poetry than read it.

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.

I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like you spend time with people you never would have chosen to spend time with, not in a million years. I spend whole days with people, I'm like, "I never would have hung out with you. I didn't choose you. Our children chose each other based on no criteria by the way. They're the same size. They don't care who they make me hang out with."

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

A lot of these people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.