Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Rain

Top 15 Quotes (out of 26)


I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.


The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.


I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"


Normally, in February, in Boston and in most of the country, the weather is gray, rainy, gray, sleet, gray, rain, gray, sleet, snow, gray; every day it just gets grayer and grayer and grayer! You wake up one day, and you go, 'I'm not comin' into work today!' Your boss goes, 'Why not? You sick?' 'No! It's too gray!'


There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting.


If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.


A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.


My wife's cool. You guys would like her. She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.


I'm not crying, its just been raining... on my face.


Nobody's about saving anymore. No one cares about a rainy day anymore. Nobody saves up enough for even an umbrella for a rainy day. It's sad. It really is a new form of slavery. We used to work to be able to afford material things. Now we work for these things. They're the boss. That house you can't afford, that car that's out of your price range, that cellphone that drains your bank account - that's your boss.


We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.


I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.


I come in the house soaking wet and am greeted by "Is it raining?" "Nope, decided to take the fish for a walk". Here's your sign!