Quotes & Jokes about Parents / page 2

55 quotes

As you get older you realize your parents don't look so dumb - and that you're not as smart as you thought you were.

We're all products of our parents: all your mother's traits are in the egg and all your father's traits are in the sperm. And if I know my parents, that sperm and egg had a fight.

I remember when I took a temp job... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah... till I die!

I have no religion because I was born and raised Jewish. And on the first night of Hanukkah, my parents, when I was very young, gave me a top to play with. They called it a dreidel. I knew it was a top. And as I looked at that top, I said, 'You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.'

I was at my parents' house all day - because I live there.

Where are all the sour patch parents?

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college.

I bought my parents a home before they died, and they got to see that I was going to be all right. They always thought I would go someplace.

A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

My parents were very old world. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.

Baby, were your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special...