You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Care
Top 15 Quotes (out of 43)
Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to fuck just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber.
I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
Guys take care of your wife when she’s pregnant. Don’t say stupid stuff either, like me. I came home one time. My wife’s six months pregnant. She’s lying on the couch. There’s food and clothes everywhere. And I walked in and went, “What’d you do today?” Don’t do that. My wife looked up and said, “Today? I don’t know, Henry. Let’s see… what did I do today? Today I made a lung.”
I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like you spend time with people you never would have chosen to spend time with, not in a million years. I spend whole days with people, I'm like, "I never would have hung out with you. I didn't choose you. Our children chose each other based on no criteria by the way. They're the same size. They don't care who they make me hang out with."
The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way to life your head up and say: ‘Not today, you bastards.’
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'm a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights. I care about animal rights.
There's no 'brothers' when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don't care about each other. He's not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio... I don't know that guy.
Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
I believe that there are certain things that could be taken care of that you don't need a strong political background in.