Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Gays

Top 15 Most Popular Quotes (out of 53)

#1

I'm in a weird situation 'cause I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So I wear a rainbow on my shirt, but then under it I gotta put 'Not Gay.' But I'm not against gay people, so then under that I gotta put 'But Supportive.' I just think it's weird that one group took refracted light. That's pretty greedy, gays.

747
#2

A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.

391
#3

Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!

141
#4

I think it's weird that one group took refracted light. Pretty greedy, gays.

93
#5

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

77
#6

I work out with alot of gay guys at the gym. I do, because my only goal is to get into "gay shape". Now, you know what I'm talking about. Gay men are the most ripped kind of... listen... I don't know how strong you have to be to blow a guy, but I'm guessin', there is some muscle involved.

69
#7

A guy say to me "are you gay?" and I say "bend over and let's find out".

61
#8

If you are in here and you are gay and you are offended that I'm using the word faggot, I apologize and I'll suck your dick after the show.

52
#9

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

42
#10

It’s hard to know what’s gay in life. Boxing. That’s two men fighting over a belt.

40
#11

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

38
#12

How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I've got a cousin who is 18... Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.

30
#13

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

25
#14

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

25
#15

I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house...

17