Stand-Up Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Art

33 quotes

I have no interest in art. Let me clarify - I have no interest in non-nude images.

She stood in line and got cut. Tried out, got cut. Loved art but the budget got cut. Then she got numb then she only felt when she knelt and cut!

The two biggest myths about me are that I’m an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I’m an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only... only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Entertainment is business: the business of fucking art in the face.

I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.

The presence of excessive wealth puts an unnatural spin on the appreciation of art.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.

Fine art and pizza delivery - being a talk-show host falls neatly in between.

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.

I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.

You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, "This is art, and you can't do it."